If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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