You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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