Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
