he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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