I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
