FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize