Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
