tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
