...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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