She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize