i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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