On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
