Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
