She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
