Where did you get a picture of my penis
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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