With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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