I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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