I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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