Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
