How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
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I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
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That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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