I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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