ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
