that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
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