Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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