pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
