You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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