she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
