When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize