More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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