I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize