Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize