I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just gargled with NyQuil
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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