Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
