I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We are all done wearing pants today
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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