how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
