If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
