Ambien. No doubt about it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
