I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
