i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
