One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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