D3 body, D1 cock
i barfeds in our rink
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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