It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize