Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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