my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
