I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
