so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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