When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize