Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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