So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
