I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just had all of the sex. All of it.