Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.