It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize