Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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