I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
