I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My life is pants optional.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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