My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
smell my finger.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
