dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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