I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
